Tantra and Porn, can they be friends?

Pornography is a topic of much debate. Some say it is degrading to women and fosters unhealthy sexual habits. Other people say that demonizing porn also demonizes the sex workers who choose to work in porn, and stigmatizes work that they may find empowering and joyful.

I have spoken publicly about some of my personal issues with mainstream pornography on many occasions, and in all honesty, I have mixed feeling about the issue. This is largely because it’s difficult to separate the industry from the product itself, and any industry that profits on human flesh is potentially problematic in my opinion.

That being said, I do not think porn itself is the issue. I believe the way it is being used IS the issue.

The problem begins with the very real fact that for many people, porn is their number one source of sex education. Human beings learn by watching and imitating what they see, and because our culture is so fractured when it comes to sexuality, there are very few resources for young people and adults to view healthy, loving, empowering sexual interactions.

(That’s one of the reasons we created the Female Orgasm Intensive)

We human beings are wonderfully curious creatures, and will seek out and find information in whatever way we can. And because we are largely unable to locate visual displays of sexual activity from an educated perspective, most folks turn to porn as their source of information and education about pleasure.

Which is a problem, because pornography is NOT real life. It is fantasy, and the interactions displayed in porn are not meant to guide your real life sexual interactions. They are meant to stimulate you, titillate you, turn you on. They are not designed to educate you about the most healthy, mutually uplifting or even enjoyable way to have sex.

Using porn as a model for sexual interactions is the equivalent of attempting to have mature intimate relationships from watching romantic comedies.

Not a good idea.

There are a number of other concerning issues with pornography such as the propensity for addiction, perpetuating bad sex habits (like ejaculating as quickly and often as possible), and cultivating disconnection as opposed to self connection.

Which brings us to the question, is it possible to have a healthy relationship with porn?

Watch the video below to find out!

 

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