Stress is the enemy of great sex. It can make the gentle caress of your lover an annoyance instead of the beginning of a great make-out session. Not only does stress affect your health and mood, it can have a dramatic negative impact on your libido. For too many, as stress increases, sexual desire tends to fall flat. During periods of prolonged stress, the flight-or-fight response is engaged, making it difficult for the brain and body to recognize sexual cues as pleasurable.
1. Breathe Deeply – Your sex drive is dependant upon a healthy functioning autonomic nervous system (ANS), however many people are stuck in a permanent fight-or-flight state. Breath is a quick way to stop the fight-or-flight response and balance the ANS. Deep breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which sends signals to the brain to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the rest-and-feed response. To use deep breathing to your benefit, place one hand on the heart and one hand on the genitals while you breathe deeply into the belly. You may also use deep breathing during self-pleasuring sessions to relax and expand your pleasure potential (and boost your libido).
2. Meditate – Meditation increases focus, boosts the immune system, improves cognitive skills and creativity, reduces depression and lowers blood pressure. How does it help boost your libido? Just like deep breathing, meditation engages the parasympathetic nervous system promoting a healthy, balanced ANS. Also, tantric meditations deal directly with healing and enriching sexual energy. These meditations are called the Tibetan Five Element meditations. In addition to enriching sexual energy, they purify karma, heal blocks in the energy body and can catalyze lasting change energetically, emotionally and physically.
3. Take a bath – There’s nothing as relaxing and sexy as soaking in a hot bubble bath. It may seem cliché, but it really works. When prepping to bathe take some time to set the space. Play some relaxing music, light some candles, or mix Epsom salts, essentials oil or a bath bomb into the water. If your goal is to reduce stress AND feel sexy, don’t stay in too long – you’ll end up becoming too relaxed and you’ll want to sleep instead of wanting to hop in the sack. But don’t worry, even if you do fall asleep after your bath you’re still gaining the cumulative benefits of the stress relief that the bath provides.
4. Get moving – Dance and exercise reduce stress all while making you feel sexy. Regularly dancing and exercising tones your body, releases endorphins that make you feel good, and energizes your body. Use the 5 Core Pelvic movements to workout, open your hips and expand your understanding of erotic expression.
5. Cuddling – Holding your loved one releases oxytocin. This neurotransmitter is often referred to as the bonding chemical because it helps you bond with the person you are cuddling. Additionally, physical touch promotes a sense of safety and security which has a powerful effect on stress. In short, cuddling calms you down and makes you feel close to your partner. Try cuddling naked to form an even stronger bond and to increase the chance of lovemaking.
6. Massage – Are you overwhelmed and not in the mood for lovemaking? Boost your libido by asking your partner for a massage. It helps you relax while building intimacy and anticipation. What is sexier than having your lover’s hands all over your body? Finish up with a Yoni or Lingam massage to make sure things stay hot.
Written by: Alaina Salks
Alaina Salks is the Co-Founder & Director of The Institute of Authentic Tantra Education.
*The Tantra Mastery Training Program does not require approval by the registrar of the private Training Institute Branch (PTIB). As such, the registrar did not review this program.