The Shadow Side to Monogamy

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For all its good— sense of security, continuity, deep knowing of your partner— there’s a mythos and fairytale ideal that society encourages us to follow around monogamy, one which can leave us feeling broken in our relationships like a record stuck on repeat. We keep trying the same things over and over and get the same unfulfilling results.

This fantasy of ‘perfect partnership’ foisted upon us has deep roots. But how relevant is it today, when we know that partnerships are not necessarily life-long, or exclusive? When we experience cheating, a breakup, or the opening of a relationship, a struggle starts between our hearts and minds.

That struggle can result in feelings of shame, an experience of being emotionally frozen. You may feel like you can’t respond to things you know you should. It might interrupt your flow of communication, or keep you from feeling like you can freely express yourself. You might even find that you are unconsciously self-sabotaging yourself.
This struggle is the “Monogamy Hangover”.

Side note: Keep in mind this is anti-mythology, not anti-monogamy, so people wanting to do conscious monogamy can benefit from this work, not just poly/open people.

Discover how to break free from the “Monogamy Hangover” struggle through:
  • How to navigate relationships outside of co-dependent-style norms
  • Prescriptive vs descriptive relationships: what are the unspoken assumptions and expectations we have when we get into a relationship?
  • Exploring our stories about relationships and how they hold us back
  • Identifying what we really want and the difference between a desire at the surface, and the deep longing at our core.
  • Knowing our boundaries
  • and so much more!

Listen in below:


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Join the Monogamy Hangover Workshop on Sunday Sept. 8th!! CLICK HERE for more info!



With two decades of experience teaching and facilitating in groups small and large, Mel has a reputation for innovation, novelty, and being able to guide others to think— and live— outside the box.

The grandchild of refugees, Mel has lived on three continents. She has professional experience in theater, education, special needs, management, holistic wellness, psychology, counselling, meditation, somatics, and yoga— all of which she applies within her coaching and mentoring.

Taking a trauma-informed approach, Mel helps individuals around the world discover new dimensions of their relationships to themselves, and the people in their lives. A respected teacher and presenter, she created the Monogamy Detox course for individuals who want to navigate alternative approaches to intimate relationships, and is currently writing her first book.

Mel is queer, loves cats, and experiences her relationships as a solo polyamorous individual. She lives on the traditional and unceded Coast Salish territories of K’ómoks in British Columbia, Canada.



Get the Monogamy Detox HERE! 

Connect with Melina on Facebook HERE

The Monogamy Detox is a six-week online course that introduces you to new models of relating and tools for communication about your relationships.

This isn’t a “polyamory 101” course. It’s more like a Relationships 202 course. And, it isn’t only for people in honest-non-monogamous relationships; lots of people who are monogamous have benefited from the course too!

What You Can Get from this Course:

  • Recognition of the unhelpful stories (mythology and fantasies) about relationships that have been holding you back
  • Tools for embracing independence while being in kind, loving relationships
  • Tricks for how to balance deep emotional relationships alongside social and sexual ones
  • Identifying your needs in the four dimensions of intimacy and relationships
  • The experience of being whole and healthy as an individual, as well as in your relationships

The best thing is, because detoxing from the monogamous mythologies doesn’t happen overnight, you get life-time access to the course, meaning you can re-take any portion of it every time it is offered.

Special Offer: use the code SEXISMEDICINE to receive 25% off!
The next session of the course starts in just a few weeks, on April 17th.
Curious? Click here to read more, and to sign up!

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*The Tantra Mastery Training Program does not require approval by the registrar of the private Training Institute Branch (PTIB). As such, the registrar did not review this program.